Hope

It still has three and a half months to go. I really hope 4 months will pass ASAP. I can't tahan the working here. Make me feel useless for being here. I still the same as before, sitting in the office, surfing the net, even my eyes feel like sleepy and bored!!!! What the hell am I doing here? It's just a very terrible and hateful with this intern course. 

Do you know what. I think that my senior, is playing a fool on me. She asking me to write an articles, with the information given by Mandarin. I was like zzz. I already told her that I do not know how to read Mandarin, but she just says that 'U just write what the information have'. The important information is in Mandarin, the only English sentence on it was the place, time and venue. Does she makes a fool on me? What I need to do is send to my friend and ask them translate for me. =.=

 

Am I an intern or real working? If I working,  I should get salary but now, doesn't have any payment. Which make me feel that why I should pay to my university for 1000+ for this stupid industrial training?Now, I do not feel like I am a journalist anymore. My 'good work' is like a normal clerk. Say only editing, but if the spelling wrong, they check, then only asks me to correct it. I was like too free to do anything, sitting to face the 4 white walls or dreaming...

Even though I send my email regarding my problem to my supervisor, she just told me it's normal. And she saying that I should see myself is it I'm willing to work. I was like, zzz.... if I not willing to work or learn, I would't tell you how I feel. Do she think very 'shuang' sit here doing nothing? If very shuang, then she should come replace me better. I rather go back study. 

Internship, is very different from what I expect before. All my senior says it's very good and you have the chance to learn be a journalist, but now I really HATE IT!!!! I HATE MY INTERN!!!Fcuking SHIT . I rather go back study or go find job to earn money. I feel so sien this few weeks, like I nothing to do. My stress becomes higher as I don't feel any joyful and happy anymore. I feel unlucky, sad, bored, and there is no hope or reason for me to live on. 

I don't know why I always face those problems. Why I was so unlucky?  What u expected me to do? I feel like life is useless and I rather disappear from this world. If my life being so stupid and useless, there is no reason for me to live anymore. I would hope that if the God want me good, please bless me to do everything that I do is going well. 

My heart to live on is getting less,I feel being useless all the way I was...