Feel Touched~ Sad

hello dear!  it's me again =) back to blogging. Hmn.. what I had done currently? Oh ya... I'm working!!! and also being lazy, what i mean is i was watching You Tube during my working hour . -.-

It was so sudden that I click to You Tube, searching this korean drama and started to watch it. Okok.. back to the point what is all about. It's really a touching drama, a drama that make me sad, crying because of their touching story and their love. A story that stick in my mind telling me that there is true love out there. To be honest, I really addict of this story. Every episode or scene I watch, my tears will falling without no reason, watching their touching scene. sobby...

U might been watching this drama before, in 2006 if I'm not wrong. Here's the story. The story takes place in Japan. It’s about a girl called He Na, whose father died when she was just 8 years old. Her mother remarries 10 years later, to a Korean man with a 20 year old son, Yun Suh. Yun Suh has not spoken for years, since he was a boy when his mother died. Anyway, Yun Suh comes to live with He Na because their parents are going away for their honeymoon. 

Slowly, He Na draws Yun Suh out of his shell, and makes him smile again, and eventually, talk. The duo, who live with He Na’s real father’s sister (her aunt) and her daughter Maya, face alot of difficulties. He Na is abused by her aunt and cousin, but her loving and forgiving nature allows her to bear with it, until they evil mother and daughter sell their home and run away. Facing so many trouble and problems, the two step siblings fall in love, though Yun Suh was the one to admit it first, and He Na keeps denying it.

She even runs away from him by going to Tokyo to work in a hotel, after her high school graduation. Yun Suh is heartbroken, leaving He Na away.....

Two years pass, and He Na misses her stepbrother terribly, and realise that she has been in love with him all along. Yun Suh has hardened and grown into a young man who has never forgotten about He Na. Instead, he tracks her down, and protects her without knowing it. He has become a mafia leader in Tokyo, and has stopped using his Korean name (Yun Suh) in favour for a new Japanese name, Yuki.

When Yun Suh finally shows himself to He Na, he tries to keep her at a distance, believing that his position as a mafia leader will endanger her life. She continues to love him, and expresses it openly this time, though he is withdrawn. He even tries to push her to marry her senior from high school, Ryu who has been taking care of her while she has lived in Tokyo for the last 2 year.

Slowly, Yun Suh warms up to He Na again, and is willing to give their love a second chance. He wants to live the rest of his life with her, but his conscience reminds him that he has yet to tell her the truth about what he does for a living.

Encouraged by his love for her, Yun Suh tries to quit the mafia because he wants to stop lying to He Na, but this turns the big boss of his gang against him. The boss tries to silence Yun Suh by killing him, afraid that he will go to the police with the information he has, once he quits. Yun Suh is aware of this, and decides to break it off with He Na once and for all, and forces her to promise him that she will marry her senior.

On her wedding day, Yun Suh comes to the church to watch her from afar. Then he leaves, aim to surrender himself to the police so that he may one day stand righteous again before him. On the way, he is ambushed and stabbed. Grievously injured, he staggers on the roads, trying to get to safety. At that precise moment that he his stabbed, the wedding ring that He Na was going to give to her groom drops to the floor, and she takes it to be a sign that something bad has happened.

She runs out of the church and down the roads. Finally she sees Yun Suh on the roads, but a car is coming towards him. She tries to push him out of the way, but both of them are knocked down. They are sent to the hospital, where both lie in separate beds in separate rooms, in critical conditions.

Yun Suh eventually dies, while He Na’s heart is badly injured. Yun Suh’s heart is given to He Na, and she lives on after the transplant, still believing that Yun Suh is alright.

At one of the final scenes, her friends ask her how she is doing, after her heart transplant, and she replies: “I feel as if this heart has always belonged to me.”

Her friends then break the news to her that Yun Suh is dead, and that the heart she has received during the transplant, is his. It's quite shocking her. T_T. 

I'm crying till non-stop. 

sad drama~ Tree in Heaven

some scene from the drama

The ending is sad that both of them can't be together, but there is a promise from Yun Suh, be the trees to protect He Na, the tree in heaven. Feel touched? lol....I wonder do I ever find a guy like that in reality? Yea right ...I will but not in reality... in my dream. 

Anyway, after watching this drama again, I think i fall in love with it.haha....Oh my, I can't forget this touching drama. 

Hope

It still has three and a half months to go. I really hope 4 months will pass ASAP. I can't tahan the working here. Make me feel useless for being here. I still the same as before, sitting in the office, surfing the net, even my eyes feel like sleepy and bored!!!! What the hell am I doing here? It's just a very terrible and hateful with this intern course. 

Do you know what. I think that my senior, is playing a fool on me. She asking me to write an articles, with the information given by Mandarin. I was like zzz. I already told her that I do not know how to read Mandarin, but she just says that 'U just write what the information have'. The important information is in Mandarin, the only English sentence on it was the place, time and venue. Does she makes a fool on me? What I need to do is send to my friend and ask them translate for me. =.=

 

Am I an intern or real working? If I working,  I should get salary but now, doesn't have any payment. Which make me feel that why I should pay to my university for 1000+ for this stupid industrial training?Now, I do not feel like I am a journalist anymore. My 'good work' is like a normal clerk. Say only editing, but if the spelling wrong, they check, then only asks me to correct it. I was like too free to do anything, sitting to face the 4 white walls or dreaming...

Even though I send my email regarding my problem to my supervisor, she just told me it's normal. And she saying that I should see myself is it I'm willing to work. I was like, zzz.... if I not willing to work or learn, I would't tell you how I feel. Do she think very 'shuang' sit here doing nothing? If very shuang, then she should come replace me better. I rather go back study. 

Internship, is very different from what I expect before. All my senior says it's very good and you have the chance to learn be a journalist, but now I really HATE IT!!!! I HATE MY INTERN!!!Fcuking SHIT . I rather go back study or go find job to earn money. I feel so sien this few weeks, like I nothing to do. My stress becomes higher as I don't feel any joyful and happy anymore. I feel unlucky, sad, bored, and there is no hope or reason for me to live on. 

I don't know why I always face those problems. Why I was so unlucky?  What u expected me to do? I feel like life is useless and I rather disappear from this world. If my life being so stupid and useless, there is no reason for me to live anymore. I would hope that if the God want me good, please bless me to do everything that I do is going well. 

My heart to live on is getting less,I feel being useless all the way I was...  

My curious, my interest gone!!!I feel stress, unhappy. Why?

It's been a week I start my intern. My company, is a beauty and hair company. With four staff here. For the first time I came, they were not so friendly. I had to follow my senior, from her she will order me what to do. After few weeks I friend with her, I can feel that she don't like me. This make make me sad. I don't have any conversation with her, except in works.  

And now I feel lost. My curious to be a journalist gone... I now doesn't expect to be one.. Why all this things will happen to me? Am I not suffer enough to all this? All the bad things 1 by 1 came to my life. What I should do? I really can't take it anymore. I feel so stress.. so angry about myself of being so unlucky. I should ashamed myself, of being so useless, so foolish. 

Everything came into my mind. I start to cry yesterday night. I was thinking back my form 6 time.. thinking of my grandma. I feel so sad thinking of here and blame myself of what I had done. I'm such a bad girl. I feel sorry and regret for treating her like this. I blame myself of everything.

For over the past 3 years, I still remember and feel sad about it. That day before she pass away, I was sitting for my trial exam. A phone rang early in the morning. I ask my mom what happen? She told me, the phone from the hospital saying that grandma is fine. I feel glad and went to sit my trial without worry. After that, around 4-5 pm, I reached home. 

From the moment I get down from the bus, I saw, a thing that I wish I din't see. The funeral that had in front of my house. I was stunned there, hoping.....'no, it not her, please'. I walk and saw my family there. I pretend nothing.. walk back to my house. I quickly go to washroom and taking my bath... crying inside the bathroom. My heart was like broken...I could not control my tears.. its dropping.. But the most thing that I feel angry is that my mom had lie to me. I ask my brother when she passed away.. and he told me early in the morning. I like why mom say different? He told me.. because you sitting for exam and they don wan you to worry about it. 

I feel shocked. I was like OMG... and tears start to  drop down. Why? I really feel sad and guilty that time because I did not see her for the last minute. And I'm blame myself of being so bad to her. What I can do now is nothing.. except missing her in my heart. 

Now, I do not know what to do. I told myself to try my best... study and be responsible on what I did. But, luck always not by my side. Whatever I do, seems not going well. Now, even my dream of being a journalist seems will disappear. Maybe it that I'm not suitable of be a journalist. Should I let it go? But, I can't.. I love to write.. going out everywhere. I doesn't wan to sit in the office.. I can die of cold. What I really want? Should I let go? I hope that God will give me some guide.. I really lost and don't know what to do. 

There is no meaning for me to live anymore. People live in happy, but I live in a lost world.